Marital Retreat Gifts

'I want a trial separation, Malcolm.'

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

Scurile travels

"I'm going on a retreat."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Monk on the beach

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

"It's not what you think."

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

Lulu's Dating Service: Special! Adult summer camp...Dining, dancing & long walks on the beach.

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Go away

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'I told my wife that I didn't buy her chocolates because she'd put on a bit of weight...how many roses do you think it will take before she lets me back into the house?'

"Can I see your license Sir?"

"I always come here when I need to blow of some steam."

"This ashram looks good. Every night after dinner they have a stand-up guru."

'It was a long trip, but the french fries are worth it.'

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

"He used to be in advertising"

Trump Twitter ban

"You never tell me anything. Keep up the good work."