Marine Marketeer Gifts

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Dressed for Success!

Captain in a storm

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Bermuda Triangles

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Creative department

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Important Food Groups

Parade of Businessmen

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'