Marine Conversationalist Pillows

'How are you enjoying the ups and downs of equatorial swimming?'

'You're a little overweight.'

"I've never had a bird's eye view of anything."

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Why do people talk about a rat's nest like it's a bad thing?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

"... and the fact that I ain't never caught a rabbit should have no bearing on our friendship."

Fish near-death experiences.

"It's not the walking — it's the waiting."

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'I wish somebody would say something.'

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'Do you know something? If I couldn't eat, I would just die!'

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

Prince longed for the good old days when dogs were dogs.

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communications with patients in personal, supportive but not disempowering course?"

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

"Of course I'm naturally apologetic. I was conceived during make-up sex."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't eat so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much floatsam.'

I've been wanting to introduce you to Herbert for months. I didn't want to scare you. Don't be silly. So what if I've discovered my girlfriend has secretly raised a talking gerbil she pampers, gives back rubs to, and debates international politics with. What's so strange about that? So you're good with it. Get me Dr. Phil.

"Other end, Steve. We've already met."

'Is it true what they say'

"I think my name is 'stop that' but I don't know for sure."

'There is a unique solution to this conundrum,' said the chicken, 'but in order to be sure, I'll need to cross the road.'

'Andy, you can be honest with me. Do you think I'd make a good manager?' - 'Why couldn't she just ask me if I like her hairstyle.'