Maritime Communication Specialist Pillows

'Some gobbledegook from the Titanic...LOL...then two hours later, OMG.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

Naval Veterans Drinking at Greenwich Pub

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Ruddy bloggers!

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

Sea weed harvest.

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

Torturing the English Language

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."