Marine Biology Buff Gifts

'Oh, what the heck -- why not a dissertation on 'Baywatch'?'

'Yes, there's something wrong: The voltmeter shows a very low reading...'

"With all these omega-3 fatty acids, you'd think I'd feel better."

"First, let's concentrate on water. Then we'll worry about krill."

'Trust me. ... The shark will be attracted by your distress, but it will ignore you and go for the little chunk of tuna on my hook.'

"Trust me- you're more than ready."

'It's a SCUBA tank: I can stay submerged for more than an hour with it!'

Did you find our menorah?

'Wow Fred! The scientists that caught you called you 'Carcharodon Carcharias' ..Wait till I tell the others..'

'…and I want you to limit yourself to 3 feeding frenzies a day.'

"Yeah yeah, good one, like I haven't heard it before: yes, I'm a bottom feeder."

'Your feet can hurt, or you can have a headache. Whn you're a cephalopod, that's about it.'

'Actually, Fathers' Day is more important to me than Mothers' Day: Daddy actually raised me...'

First you have to get plastic sugery

'Do I look fat to you? I mean more than usual for our blubbery species.'

Swordfishes Playing 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey'

'Heeheehee! I -heeheehee!- really hate Prozac consumers! Heeheehee!'

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'You're a saltwater fish, I'm a freshwater fish: We can only play together in the estuary...'

'Hey, Tony! This guy wants 800 mackerel! We got that?'

"Bless you."

"I'm more a gliding fish than a flying fish to be perfectly honest..."

"We have this moment, Darlene."

"There were times I wished I was an oyster, but I'm happy as a clam."

We're barnacles, Bob - get over your attachment issues.

Gunfish

"That's what I hate about whale parties – no room to dance and they always run out of krill."

"Just because you smell blood in the water doesn't mean you have to eat."

A Message from Portugese Man o' War

"Just livin' the bream."

"Geez, dude. You been working out?"

"Aren't you glad we get to work from home?"

Excuse me, young man, but you are not evolving ANYWHERE until you put on some sunscreen.

'Oi! You threw that on Porpoise!'

From the Krill's perspective, every whale is a killer whale.