Marine Biologists Gifts

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

At least we're together!

Two lady sharks at a bar checking out a handsome shark - 'You know what they say Gloria... the bigger the fin, the bigger the fun!'

Shark cage offers no protection from a swordfish.

Have A Whale Of A Christmas

Wall-ruses.

'Mercury, PCBs, nuclear waste- it's enough to make you want to remain in the plankton stage!'

'It's their warm inquisitive eyes I find most unnerving. . .'

'Too many gaspers kept the turtlers from catching the ridley.'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

"Let's have the cod. It'll be extinct soon."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Seagiraffes

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

Desert Island Meals.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

Bite out of fishing pier.

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The one that got away

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

"The hyenas started it."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Lazy Octopus

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

The Food Chain

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'