Marinade Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm a finicky vegetarian. I don't eat eggs unless they're poached. I don't eat meat, unless it is properly marinated. I don't eat fish unless it's breaded and fried.'

"Mind the whale, dear."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

The Jolly Green Giant Squid

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Fish snorkling above water.

"I don't do windows."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Sperm Whale.

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Batman O' War

COWMIKAZES

"Congratulations on becoming a mom! Wow, he has such a big..."

"He's a keeper!"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"At least you don’t need a wetsuit."

"Can I interest you in a great white?"

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'

Shark food pyramid.

'CANNONBALL!!' - Whale tours.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"We're gonna make, Rose! Keep washing your hands!"

Ever Given

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

Making fun of Starfish.

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."