Marathon Birthday Gifts

City Marathon.

'My feet are killing me.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Your shoe's untied.'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

Running

Gary turns 40.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

City Marathon.

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"I told him he should have trained more."

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"Careful."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....