Mantra Chanter Gifts

"Oom..."

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Enlightened Cursing

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

Magic Mushrooms

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"Is something bothering you?"

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

"Okay, I've centred myself. Now what?"

'Seeker of enlightenment, it may be wise to reconsider your mantra.'

Chicken Affirmations

'Mozzie Mozzie Mozzie!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!'

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

Shape up

'Mismatched Mantras'

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

Buddists singing 'Harvey Krishna,Harvey Krishna'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

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