Mantra Chanter Pillows

"Oom..."

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Enlightened Cursing

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

Magic Mushrooms

"Is something bothering you?"

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

Chicken Affirmations

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

'Mozzie Mozzie Mozzie!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!' 'Oi!'

'Seeker of enlightenment, it may be wise to reconsider your mantra.'

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

Shape up

'Mismatched Mantras'

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

Buddists singing 'Harvey Krishna,Harvey Krishna'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...

Traffic Signals: Caution/Stop/Honkhorn

"I'm not 'looking to further my toxic agenda' I'm just telling you it's your bedtime."