Mantra Changer Pillows

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Prejudice/Empathy

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Enlightened Cursing

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"Yes, Mr. Hargraves, thumb-sucking can be cured. But first let's talk about what your other hand is doing."

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"Is something bothering you?"

' ... Ohm ... Ohm ... Ohm ...'

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

"Okay, I've centred myself. Now what?"

Chicken Affirmations

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

'You've got to stop living in the past.'

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

Shape up

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

'Mismatched Mantras'

"I'm on a social media diet. I'm giving up tweets."

"N-n-n-n-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m."

'Just in case I forget it, I keep my mantra on my Ipod.'

'That mantra you gave me is politically incorrect!'

The Teenage Mantra: You don't understand...