Mantra Lovers Pillows

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'Mantras aren't supposed to have punch lines!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Zenemies.

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Out of control

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

'Have you been working out?'

Enlightened Cursing

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

Working from OM.

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

'If this thing starts to snowball it will catch fire all across the country.'

Dangling Carrots

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

"What a day, I swam with the sharks, ran with the bears and wreastled with the bulls..."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"Well, I guess the bubble has burst over at Phillips Rodny Associates."

Nervous Buddha

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

"There you go again, withdrawing into your shell..."

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates