Mantra Appreciators Pillows

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

Meat Grinder

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Enlightened Cursing

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

'I'm thinking about quitting the rat race.'

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

Ship of fools.

My arms are tired, too – I'm starting to think this whole evil thing isn't temporary.

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

Writing about scientific progress in 1675, Isaac Newton said " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." This metaphor is now commonly used to make the point that scientific advances are made using a foundation built by the work of those who came before. That Newton guy was right, you can see further when you're on the shoulders of Giants. I just wonder if he was talking about the players from the football Giants or the baseball Giants. Ernie is a much bigger fan

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

"The seller isn't willing to come down."

"Okay, I've centred myself. Now what?"

Chicken Affirmations

Bavaria

Shape up

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

"I didn't say: 'He doesn't bite'. I said: 'His bark was worse than his bite'."