Mantra Appreciators Pillows

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

Meat Grinder

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

Enlightened Cursing

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

Pigs - Live Laugh Lard

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

'I'm thinking about quitting the rat race.'

"You know me. Never criticize,always optimize. The eternal Ms. Masking Tape."

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

"Psst! I got mantras. You need a mantra? Mantras right here..."

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

Ship of fools.

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."

"I like the elephant in the room. With his memory he never screws up our lunch order!"

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'

"When you've finished your affirmations, dear, don't forget to put your trousers on."

City Bank: The bank that sticks with you through thick.

"My favorite is also 'let sleeping dogs lie'."

Chicken Affirmations

"The seller isn't willing to come down."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Buy Low and Sell High Gurus

Dial-A-Prayer and Dial-A-Mantra

Bavaria

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

Shape up

"I tried shutting my mouth and opening my mind, but then I remembered it's better to give than to receive."

"I didn't say: 'He doesn't bite'. I said: 'His bark was worse than his bite'."

Lonely fish.