Manscape Master T-Shirts

"Did you wax your chest or did someone at the office have to use the AED on you again?"

Always knock. The secrets of male grooming are best kept that way.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"And up ahead is a place called, 'portage'."

"This is my man cave."

"I think I'm lost."

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

Two men discussing thier moustaches

Arnold Schwarzenegger going to a party as Bach.

Masterpiece?

'I don't know why you find it so hard to stop and ask for directions.'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."

"Not too much off my back."

'Mess with me if you have to, son, but not with the regimental moustache!'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Petro Poroshenko

Orienteering 101

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

Rand McNally's cartography department enjoys a spirited, after-hours game of charades.

"No, wait. I always get this mixed up. The manet was five point nine. The Monet was three flat."

'Acquiring Satellite.'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

How to wear a false moustache.

Directions Available - Discretion Assured.

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

"If you have any mental-health issues you'd like to discuss, now would be a good time."

'Higher!'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

"What amazes me is that dad actually buys fertilizer!"