Manners Enthusiasts Pillows

'The aurora borealis. Which is why you should never name something with your mouth full.'

Pearls of wisdom

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'Say, please.'

'Honey, we don't stare.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

Careful

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Shake'

'I'm good. How are you?'

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

"Stop right there. Some things we know without being told...like the benefits of scraping your tongue."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'I didn't do the problem because you didn't say 'please.''

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

"Hold that afterthought!"

'Pass my Mallet.'

Mime on invisible phone in restaurant.