Manners Advocate Pillows

'Dad says I have to say 'Thank You' if you give me anything.'

'Wait a minute...did you just cut in line?'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Politeness opens doors

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Say, please.'

'Honey, we don't stare.'

"Fetch! What about a please?"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

Careful

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Why does the vicar keep saying 'Bless you' when nobody is sneezing?'

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'