Manners Enthusiast Pillows

'Watch out for the queue-jumper. Pass it on.'

"This is a nice restaurant. Turn your cap around."

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

Canadian Standoff

"Thank you for being a wonderful audience during my cellphone conversation."

'Mom, you didn't say please or thank you.'

"Tell us again about civil discourse. We promise not to laugh this time."

"You see, manners are not dead: I've received a "Thank You" card from the guy I saved last week..."

Courtesy ATM

'Gesundheit.'

"At least he doesn't beg at the table."

'Sorry, you'll have to wait - now I have a call...'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'What a pity they didn't go to the same charm school!'

Nose picker.

'Timmy, that was Daddy's dinner Yours is here,,,'

"Excuse me. I think you'll find, I was before you!"

Human Cull: People who don't thank you when you hold the door open for them.

Human Cull: People who don't pick up after their dog.

"Where did we lose our common courtesy as a society? You old fool, how the hell should I know?"

"What are you, a trouble-maker or sumpin'!!!"

"I've sewn a little handkerchief picket inside his shorts for phlegm."

Compliment-A-Mole

"Make believe you don't see them."

The Golden Rule applies to both sides of the counter/desk.

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Your Honour, may I approach the bench?" And what's the magic word?

"Elbows off the table!"

"Is this clear enough for everyone?"

"You never hold the door open for me."

'Holding the door open? Where are your manners, son?!'

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"

"Not so loud, sweetie. We're in Europe."

"Next time, if someone gives you a compliment, just say 'thank you'."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"