Manners Aficionado Pillows

"Thank you, I'd rather stand."

WHEN MANNERS COUNTED'Dad, Nigel would like to apologize."

The white courtesy phone

Urinal Etiquette 101

Antiques Show. Common Courtesy. Family Movies. Using Turn Signals. Good Service. No Profanity in Public. Nice Children.

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

'Can we have our ball back please?'

'Slurping or sipping?'

'I know you're old enough to qualify for retirement, Glasgow, but you didn't say 'May I?''

'I wish you wouldn't do that.'

'That's Mister no-good bum to you, fella!'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

Angela Merkel

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'Honey, we don't stare.'