Manners Maverick Pillows

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

Bourgeois Man and his ceaseless mission to tell everyone else how to live.

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

'Gesundheit.'

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'Timothy-Rex! Stop playing with the food!'

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

'Honey, we don't stare.'

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

'Say, please.'

"Gesundheit!"

Politeness opens doors

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

Careful

"Fetch! What about a please?"

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Shake'

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)