Managerial Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'This is our boss' desk. If you ask me, it's an ego thing.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

Thesaurus Company

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

'Not exactly what I meant by job creation.'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"It's amazing to think he started out in the lobby."

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'Don't let anyone in without an appointment, and don't give anyone an appointment.'

Above reproach.

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

'You're overworked and underpaid. That's what gives you job security.'

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

'Rabner is tops in customer retention.'

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'It's important that I see eye-to-eye with any consultants we bring in.'

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

Little man in big man's pocket.