Mammoth Groomer T-Shirts

'Early pets'

Fancy Feast. Very small brown mouse in gravy.

"So, how do you want it?"

"I noticed a few browns."

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

How to Pick up a Safety Razor Blade

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

'Now Gregory needed an investor to take his Gentlemen's Lavatory Tongs from dream to reality.'

Horse Clean-up

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

'But, I'm not fishing. I'm just teaching my pet maggot how to swim.'

Republican Mutant Mammoth

'The woman who crossed the street when she say Marmaduke. . . I think she was his groomer.'

DIY pedicure

The wool club for mammoths.

'He followed me home from the cloning lab. Can I keep him?'

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'It's easy to follow the No Deodorant Kid.'

'I have a proceeding hairline. It runs in my family. . .'

The crew of the pirate ship 'The Bearded Lady' celebrate their greatest booty haul ever.

'Well, are you going to rub his nose in it, or am I?'

'Well, maybe the world isn't quite ready for our ultra-deluxe smooth glide 36 blade razor.'

"You look so different without your beard!"

Hipster Ventriloquist Convention

Vampire attempts to shave with no reflection in mirror...

Yet anoher prehistoric mammal is covered up by the La Brea Tarp - never to be seen again.

"Hind lick maneuver."

Haircut Kit. The salesman said this self hair cutting kit will quickly pay for itself! Not to mention the money you'll save because you won't leave the house for weeks!

"I have used this unexpected stay-at-home time to get really good at new skills."

Barber shop for birds.

"Honey, next time you walk the mammoth!"

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

The First Wax Strip of Spring!

Bathing a Cat