Malt Maniac T-Shirts

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'Spell checker!'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

Addiction to mobile.

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

'What do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Love Hurts

King Richard I

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."