Malt Maniac Gifts

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'Spell checker!'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Sheesh... Missed a button again."

"The majestic way they climb higher and higher until they seem to kiss the sky reminds me of the huge pile of work I have waiting for me when I get back."

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Don't be an idiot, Larry."

Addiction to mobile.

"This invasion is gonna be a piece of cake. Look, they're already surrendering."

'What do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon?'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

Butterfly Sales

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Love Hurts

King Richard I

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'Oh, you know, the usual...just working.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

Lox Ness Monster