Mainstream Rebel Gifts

The Mainstream

"I gotta be me!"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

Pirates at the mall.

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

The Choice is Obvious

The New Square Mile Regulator.

First O.M.G. church.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

"I blame the regulators for giving predatory pricing a bad name."

Brain versus Religion.

Federally Guidelined

"He shows enormous potential."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Bassoonist cherub.

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

'Even the TV dinners are a repeat.'

Resistance.