Mainstream Believer Gifts

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

Ghost School.

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

The Mainstream

'Gee you're lucky! I don't think the Tooth-Fairy will ever bring me anything...'

The ten ammendments

"I have an app for that."

Fairy Vet

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'Some democrats and Republicans sat together at the state of the union.'

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"I don't want to sound desperate, but either you transform me with a kiss or I end up dissected in a ninth-grade science lab."

"Tia Carmen, can you make Sylvia Sanchez, the prettiest girl in school, look me in the eye and ask about my feelings."

'Hurry! There's not a moment to lose.'

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

"I think it's time you ditched the phoney crown and admitted to yourself that princess or no princess, you'll always be a frog."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

The Fountain of Youth.

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

Every App tells a story.

"With the wearing of this mystic talisman, you will never be plagued by any of the minor ailments usually handled by over-the-counter drugs!"

'I'm Frog, formerly known as Prince.'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

'I was a spoiled little brat of a prince: Being turned into a frog and falling in love with you is the best thing that has happened to me...'

Princess believes one kiss will turn the crocodile into a handsome Prince.

"The other fairy does glass."

'The global economy is fragile and mysterious, folks... kind of like Tinkerbell in 'Peter Pan.' When people stopped believing in the magic, Tinkerbell almost died. So it's up to us to invent a better supernatural creature to believe in!'

"I'd swear it moved just now..!!"