Mail Defender Gifts

"Dog house"

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

Nuclear waste.

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

Evolution.

Inuit post arriving by parachute.

'Remember not to shirk the paperwork.'

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

"You're going to have to repeat the class for the third time because you miss so much during your Friday strikes...What's going to become of you?"

Man with Sword in Penholder

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

"I hypnotized him into exercising every time he gets a spam in his inbox. He works out 50 times a day."

COP26 GLASGOW

"The government is going to fight climate change by rearranging the deckchairs on the iceberg."

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth - but not the oil and mineral rights.'

"Batteries for environmentally friendly electric cars. . ."

Save The Planet! No Plastic Bags!

In 5 Years...

Menifee Madness

'And there is the Black Sea, Dad?' 'No, no, this is the Gulf of Mexico.'

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

Job Stress.

'I am an unhappy employee.'

'Herbert's security hookup lets him make sure no one took over his desk while he's on vacation.'

Demonstration - sign with 'The end is near', last man holds sign 'The end'.

“Oh, I almost forgot, and the polar ice caps. I want them to stop melting.”

'You've got a pretty nasty case of humans. Take two asteroids and call me in the morning. The side effects are rather unpleasant, but they only last few million years, then you'll be as good as new!'

'I worry that the warm glow from your sense of smug self-satisfaction could be harming the environment.'

'A long time ago we couldn't breathe their atmosphere..now it's really great!'

Global Warming.

Extinction Rebellion logo vs. a posh bow tie logo.