Magnetic Therapist Gifts

Magnets & acupuncture.

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Hot Pie Therapy

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Planned service changes

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.

Music Therapy

'I also offer massage therapy.'

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'We do not do belly rubs, if that's what you are looking for.'

Deep tissue massage.

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Music Therapy

Flo discovered that one of the perks of cancer was that even reluctant friends were willing to give her foot massages,

"Shoulder work ahead"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

"You're carrying a lot of pretension in your back."

"That feels good...now scratch a little to the left."

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"That was a fascinating regression. Apparently, you were a pirate in a previous life!"

Bandaged hospital patient listening to music.

Foot Massage

Planned service changes

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."