Magical Therapy Seekers T-Shirts

"And I don't seem any closer to figuring out why I'm not granting my own wishes."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

The Physiciatrist...

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'I hate all holidays!'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Turmoil change.

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

Emotional Support Pest

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"