Magical Potion Maker T-Shirts

'I know it's not too good, but if we just dump it, we'll be violating the hazardous wastes act.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Toadstools

'One eye of newt or two?'

"I said slime."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Witch in drugstore: They're endangered now, so I need a newt substitute.'

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

'I really love this stuff, but I still have a lot of trouble with sushi.'

Love Potion

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

'If this elixir works, I see an over-the-counter version in three years.'

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

"It's a little bland, because I microwaved it."

"And now from downtown!"

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

'...To be fair, the chemistry teacher didn't ask your Son to drink his practical exam.'

"Ulrich, that's bad science and you know it!"

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

"Of course it tastes funny. . . there's hair of clown in it!"