Magical Environmentalist T-Shirts

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

The Jeopardy of Progress

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Humans...What is their purpose?

Deforestation.

The Environmentalist

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

The Audacity of Fake Environmental Hope

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

North Pole

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

But is it organic?

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Polluted geese

Natural Disasters

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Wind-generated power. Wind turbines attached to Battersea Power Station's iconic chimneys

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

"We'll always have Paris..."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."