Magic Floor Fan Gifts

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland

"Who wants to help me with the fireworks this year?"

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

"Take a letter, any letter"

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

Bath Bonfire

Man with giant firework strapped to his back has colleague light the fuse

July 5...payback.

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

'I was on my way to see why so many people were gathered in the park when the fireworks started...'

Can we get special effects to digitally enhance our bottom line?

"You're right. Watching them celebrate freedom before we abduct them is fun."

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

"Where once there was one sandwich-now there are two!"

Universal Movie Awards. We've seen celebrities from the biggest starts to the brilliant meteorites arriving here at the Universal Movie Awards. There's a moon who is up for a supporting role award, and the Perseid meteor shower, which is nominated for special effects. And there's Mars, blending right into the red carpet. They all better hurry inside and take their seats. The show is about to start with the Best Picture Award. They're starting with the Best Picture Award? Of course! Out h

'Would you believe that somebody asked me to deliver their mail yesterday Where did that come from'

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

Magical box of chocolates.

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

'You call that a firecracker?'