Magic Floor Fan Pillows

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Astronaut finds used firework on the moon.

"Who wants to help me with the fireworks this year?"

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"Wow, an African Blackwood cat-flap and a red carpet! They must really love you!"

Bath Bonfire

"Take a letter, any letter"

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

Man with giant firework strapped to his back has colleague light the fuse

July 5...payback.

"Mom forbids me to have fireworks. She gave me this cereal instead!"

"Creative, imaginative, and fierce-these are just a few of the words that I'm reading off the teleprompter."

'I was on my way to see why so many people were gathered in the park when the fireworks started...'

"Where once there was one sandwich-now there are two!"

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

'Have any of you guys seen a crap magician with a magic top hat?'

"Have you had any sharp, needle-like stabbing pains all over your body lately?"

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

'No - I'll give the underlay a miss.'

"In case you had any doubts, Holbrook, you're fired!"

Can we get special effects to digitally enhance our bottom line?

Magical box of chocolates.

"You're right. Watching them celebrate freedom before we abduct them is fun."

'You call that a firecracker?'

'Excuse me, could I borrow a light?'