Magic Enthusiast T-Shirts

'It wasn't any good for spells but it makes a great jacuzzi!'

"In the hat! In the hat!"

"Hi, its me, I'm on the broom"

"But, can you help me quit smoking?"

'A large Swiss Pharmaceuticals company has expressed serious interest in my potion.'

Snow Globe Fortune Teller

'Come in, come in, we;re eager to hear your market predictions!'

"Sure, we need more research in alchemy, necromancy, and sorcery, but where is the money going to come from?"

"The FDA didn't approve the use of eye of newt."

'We really need to upgrade our Pharmacy!'

'Hi, I'm your new genie. Your old genie has been arrested for influence, peddling, bribery and misuse of power.'

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

'Oh great. Now the FDA is regulating safety coated caplets of eyes of newt.'

'Doctor, are you certain this is an approved surgical technique?'

"Does this poison smell weird to you?"

"Either we split things down the middle or I stay in the hat."

The Invisible Fence.

'Sorry, but I can't tell you how I magically pop out of the hat: My contract has a non-disclosure clause...'

"What do you mean you've lost my other case?"

"Trevor made the fatal error of trying to teach a new dog old tricks."

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

Old dogs don't learn new tricks.

'How many times do I have to tell you...What's the magic word?'

Unbrella repelling sticks and rocks.

Fairy Godmother

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

'I remember when tea leaves were the state-of-the-art method of forecasting.'

'If you think that's something, wait 'till you see his card tricks.'

Witch reads book titled 'Cackle with Confidence'.

'Just a little off the hips.'

'It cooks great, but it won't fit in the dishwasher.'

A witch buys a broom from the hardware store - 'Don't bother wrapping it, I'll ride it home.'

My brother in law is a magician and he said this will do the trick.

"I trust him - he has a science background."

"Please hold my calls for the next fifteen minutes, Miss Hammish."