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'One eye of newt or two?'

"Of course you can't replicate my experiments. That's the beauty of them."

'This is my forth time through the line - she can't tell us apart.'

Although a bit off-putting at first, The Amazing Bill managed to ease patient anxiety during scans.

Keys Under the Mat

"Use thy core!"

Magician pulls snake out of hat.

"Long ago men cursed and beat the ground with sticks. It was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf."

"Well he was there a minute ago!"

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

'I didn't know we had an ALCHEMY Department.'

"I'd like to have children, but, you know, food allergies..."

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

"O.K., that's pretty cool. Who's doing that?"

Houdini's Dog

'That's what I call magical magic!'

Magician at customs.

If you can read my mind, why do you need to see two valid I.D.s?

Three balls...no waiting.

Zen Voodoo

Bookshop - Occult and the supernatural.

'Can I lick the spoon, Mom?!'

Valet is left with witches broomstick.

Note for Marvo the Magician - 'Your rabbit is in the oven.'

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'I know you've seen a lady sawn in half before...but lengthways?'

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"Before I grant your Birthday Wish, let me read our standard disclaimer..."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"It's empty!"

"I feel more quaint than wicked."

"Of course it tastes funny. How many times do I have to tell you, when it comes to toad's bladder, NEVER use domestic!"

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."