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'My name is Helda, and I have a tendency to fly off the handle.'

"It's okay mate, I only need the cork from your bottle."

"I conjured you up a dress, shoes, a corsage, and a limo—I'm not ponying up for an afterparty too."

'Actually, this carpet is astroturf.'

Magician in a doctor's waiting room.

'My Friends ran out toilet paper.'

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

'Before' 'After' - witch at plastic surgeon.

'Stop feeling guilty. Our spells work. Our potions are effective. Why shouldn't we live well?'

"I had a huge crush on him, he was so handsome, but then this girl kissed him and he transformed into a human: I was heart-broken..."

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

The tooth fairy.

Toadstools

'One eye of newt or two?'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Desert Island BBQ

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

You do know it's Harry Potter who's real and JK Rowling is just one of his spells?

Late BroomStick

"Oh, sorry - Open Sesame, PLEASE."

"What the hell took so long?"

Broomstick crash.

"I said slime."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Rocking Witches.

100% carbon neutral

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Eye of pie...a**e of rat...p**s of newt."

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

"I just need help getting the pit out."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Rocket and Witch Race