Magazine Reading Gifts

Invasion of Privacy

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

The Fashions for the Coming Season

"I won! My reader survey for Custom Cruiser Magazine was the first one returned! The editor is coming to town next week to take picture of my lowrider for the May issues."

Fashion Magazine: In/Out/Back In.

Gay Times...

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Pets.

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Netanyahu versus Gantz

"I've seen a tulip before."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'Which fashion magazine do you recommend?'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

Highlights for Adults

"Are those my slippers?!"

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''