Machinery Maestro T-Shirts

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

Congratulations on your retirement!

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"Lucky Guess."

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

IRS tax instructions.

Concerto in DOS for Microsoft Windows.

Lawrence of Suburbia

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'How's your research on nuclear waste disposal going?'

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

"You still working on your car?"

'I play heavy metal.'

'I know Pasteur didn't work under these conditions, but Pasteur didn't have fifty companies trying to steal his trade secrets.'

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'