Machinery Maestro T-Shirts

'Where are you going, I already locked out that pump.' - 'CARL'S on shift!'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Congratulations on your retirement!

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Institute for Artificial Intelligence.

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"Lucky Guess."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'There was a slight accident in shop class. I welded my braces together.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

IRS tax instructions.

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'The only way to survive in the current economy is to diversify.'

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'How's your research on nuclear waste disposal going?'

Happy Birthday! I wasn't sure what sort of music you like...

'I play heavy metal.'

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

'I know Pasteur didn't work under these conditions, but Pasteur didn't have fifty companies trying to steal his trade secrets.'

'I guess I should have paid the foundation bill.'

'Absent any details, in purely visual terms, I like it.'

A bulge of bodybuilders