Macabre Fashion Critique Gifts

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

How to recognize a German tourist...

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Style Consultant

Ugly sisters

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."

"Do you have any camouflage pants? I want to hide my hips."