Macabre Fashion Critique Gifts

'Same problem every morning. What to wear..?'

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"I'm afraid it's your suit...you're suffering from batnipple."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

How to recognize a German tourist...

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

You're not going out to seek vengeance dressed like that!

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Ugly sisters

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

Style Consultant

"My tailor just won't accept that I've grown as a person."