Comedic Clothing Critic Gifts

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

Pop up begger.

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

"I've designed the logo for your new social media app. It's a dirty laundry basket."

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

'I'm a genetically modified fish aimed at the environmentalist market.'

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

'I don't mind you buying the camouflage suit at the mall, but did you have to wear it home.?

Safety Pin

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

Robot Bores

"You in there! This is the Microsoft Police. Throw out your books and come out with your hands up."

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Style Consultant

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

"We've got kind of a noir thing happening here, Manny. The girlie cigarette doesn't exactly add."

Two women are hosting a radio show called Ask Sadie.