Lyrical Legend Gifts

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

"This is from the gentleman at the end of the bar."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

The Elliot Ness monster.

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Bigfoot"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"Now that's a win."

Myths and legends...

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

Knights of the bedside table.

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Robbie Williams

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Scotsman in the bath...

Pandora's Change Purse...

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."