Lyrical Legend Gifts

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

'Dubble Dawawg A.K.A. Diplo Matt A.K.A. Spyral A.K.A. Sheldon delman - noted rap artist'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

The Elliot Ness monster.

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Now that's a win."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Myths and legends...

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Knights of the bedside table.

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

Scotsman in the bath...

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Pandora's Change Purse...

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?'

Saint Patrick

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"Nothing is ever in my size either."