Literature Legend Gifts

'Sire, they are starting to call you Edward the Confessor.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster have some fun with the tourists...

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"Now that's a win."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Bigfoot"

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Myths and legends...

Knights of the bedside table.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

"You're ruining our reputation, Bob!"

"You know the stories about putting a pair of socks into the washing machine and getting out just one of them...Jones, it seems that we found the hideaway of the second socks!"

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

Jack London

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

Scotsman in the bath...

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'Where's the elephant cemetery? It's a secret, and anyway, you'd be the last person I'd tell!'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Pandora's Change Purse...

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Robbie Williams