Lyric Jester Gifts

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"We're following Carrot Top."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Books / Coffee table books

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

'I'm looking for someone who can make me laugh.'

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

'Ringing in your ears, you say?'

'I told the jester he could take April Fool's Day off.'