Lyric Decipherer Gifts

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

We never roam anymore.

'Yes, I know the Beatles said 'all you need is love,' but they also said 'just give me money.''

IKEA Book

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

I've been having very strange dreams lately, but they're no match for how bizarre waking hours life has seemed.

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Onstage with the transgenic singers...

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

Humpty Dumpty is sitting on a wall, Below is a man with a boiling pot waiting for him to land in it, Man is licking is lips, he has napkin on and is holding a knife and fork,

Randy Newman.

"We built this city on rock and roll which was a mistake."

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."

'Prophetic dream, no chance! You lying on a plate, surrounded by vegetables? That can only be symbolic.'

"My libido?...What the hell does this even mean?"

Regina Ilyinichna Spektor

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

Don't even dream of parking here.

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.