Lyric Analyst Gifts

"You know that Hall and Oates song 'She's Gone' where he says he'd pay the devil to replace her? Don't you think that's a little extreme?"

Cagey Bea

We never roam anymore.

'Yes, I know the Beatles said 'all you need is love,' but they also said 'just give me money.''

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"As Tom gets nostalgic to Don McLean's 'American Pie,' baby Charles utters his first words... Too long."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

Old songs made new

'100% Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

George Gershwin, Psychiatrist

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

'I wandered lonely as Wayne Rooney playing up front for England.'

'Okay, one more blog about the meaning of 'Alice in Wonderland' and then off to sleep.'

He's disappointed --- He came here because he thought the song went "New York, New York, it's an elephant town."

Onstage with the transgenic singers...

'I wouldn't have agreed to let you write your own wedding vows if I knew you were just going to copy the lyrics to Margaritaville!'

Class Reunion. Back in school, Ernie was the world's biggest Beatle fan! For the reunion, he's written songs about some of our classmates. There's a cheesemaker

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon..."

Randy Newman.

Louie Louie Lyrics Challenge. Louie Louie, oh baby, we gotta go. Then what? Every night and day a ladle of me: Back of a girl all cuddly. On a gym that brings me there: A girl with a rose in her hair. Makes sense? Ladle of me? Ladle?! HOJ.

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

"We built this city on rock and roll which was a mistake."