Lyricist Appraiser Gifts

Country Hits

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Final words on gravestones.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

We never roam anymore.

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

"As Tom gets nostalgic to Don McLean's 'American Pie,' baby Charles utters his first words... Too long."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

Art Garfunkel.

Son, I don't think this was how Whistler painted HIS mother.

'Cole Porter has the lyrics checked'

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"Great moments in songwriting" "What if she had a little lamb?" "Maybe it follows her to school?" "Wouldn't that make the children laugh?" "Exactly."

'Yes, I know the Beatles said 'all you need is love,' but they also said 'just give me money.''

Vasiliy Lebedev-Kumach

Bob Dylan

Old songs made new

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

'100% Grammatically Correct Popular Tunes'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"Moon….June Croon….Loon… …Tycoon"

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."