Poetry Analyzer Gifts

"Great 'Ah Ha' moments in History

"You're going to hate yourself."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Iliadette.

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

How a poet works

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

We never roam anymore.

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

Writer

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

'And that one is the mistake I made in Act II, Scene III, line 14 of Hamlet.'

'Yes, I know the Beatles said 'all you need is love,' but they also said 'just give me money.''

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"The pompano poached in parchment is very alliterative tonight."

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

'Ach, Herr Scrooge - ghost of this, ghost of that...serious delusions.'

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Two More Poems from Ted Hughes

Old Yarns

Major Poets, Minor Poets, Free Agents.

'I wandered lonely as Wayne Rooney playing up front for England.'

'It's very nice, dear, but it's still not as lovely as a tree.'