Lyric Aficionado T-Shirts

'This lot? Word-perfect with every song in the hit parade but can't remember a single line of poetry!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

My Literary Influences

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Ironing Punctuation

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

Friedrich Schiller

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

Library

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"Nevermore."

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"This next song I wrote I won't sing due to political correctness."

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Lord Byron

'It's only the library ghost - he was a great poet but a failed novelist.'