Lycra Aficionado T-Shirts

Yes, lycra-wearing cyclists are too fast, so the trick is to catch them mid-ride at coffee shops...

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Back to school.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

Knight in shining Lycra!

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

A Freudian slip...

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"I hate this time of year."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"If either of you know any cause or impediment why you should not be married, INCLUDING YouTube CLIPS, declare it now."

"You know I hate birthdays!"

"They can steal my bike, but they can't take my dignity."

Sermon on the Grounds...

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

"They say at least 80% of us are wearing the wrong size."

Bob Dylan

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

Ladies in Lycra

'Another Scotch?'

'How long have you had that toupee?'

'My programmer doesn't understand me.'

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

"Mum, Mum, the choir master taught us to yodel today! I loved it, I want to practice every day..."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

Mine Host.

Loud Chorister

'You may see a great creation, Dr. Frankenstein... but I only see a great heck of a Product Liability Problem.'

England.

'I suppose we could use him as a Bass singer in a choir.'

'Cheer up...'