Luxury Goods T-Shirts

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

"Because I'm worth it"

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

Ultra-Premium Jeans

'The $1.5 trillion deficit wouldn't sound nearly as bad, if they expressed it in bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'So let's look at motivation. Is 'market share' what gets you up in the morning, or is it something else?'

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

"Oh yes, I'm a firm believer in shopping local."

"And hideously priced!"

'For anyone who claims there's no difference between a $3 bottle of wine and a $30 bottle, all I can say is, no ever seems to shoplift a $3 bottle in this place.'

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

'It's fortunate that wearing a fur coat is indefensible.' 'I know. I can't afford one either.'

'Looks like her crocodile bag was genuine after all' - friends looking at well-fed crocodile and shoes which are all that is left of their friend.

'Look - I'm sure this one won't slip down the plug hole.'

'I can't decide if I wanna be in shoes, handbags or luggage.'

An angry skinless Crocodile has finally found the person who has his former skin used for bags and suitcases.

"I told you if you wanted that fur coat sacrifices would have to be made."

These shades are awesome. They're not for you. Sunglass King. But they'd look great on me. True. It's not that. It's, well … We're trying to preserve our brand image. We only sell those to qualified individuals. People with the right look. Hold on. Are you saying I'm too ugly to buy your stupid sunglasses? Put bluntly. How dare you, pal. Why I oughta … Hold on. Okay. I'll sell you the glasses. But on one condition. Some days the humiliation just piles on. Who's the cutie in the shades?

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

"No, Liz— they didn’t take your Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Cream!"

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"My consumer confidence has been replaced with consumer sarcasm."

'It's a top of the line leather laptop case of remarkable sleekness and style. You can't miss it.'

'Things ARE beginning to pick up, turnover and profits are climbing...But there won't be a return to the excesses of the PAST...'

I travel Prada whenever I can."

"I'll stop wearing a watch when they make a phone this expensive."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."