Luxury Goods Collecting T-Shirts

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Do you do much walking?"

'I love shopping for clothing I don't need with money I don't have.'

'Don't be nervous, relax...he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do. Of course, his pants are tailor made and cost $600 a pair...'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'At first I wasn't going to join, but with a name like that, how could I resist?'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Posh Easter Egg

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

The Dandy

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

"We’d like a quiet table for two where my wife can justify spending three grand for a handbag."

"I just wonder if the brand name is too obvious."

'Amazing! But when we go on holiday one suitcase is too heavy for you.'

'Cohiba is written on here with a Sharpie.'

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

Top model

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

'The $1.5 trillion deficit wouldn't sound nearly as bad, if they expressed it in bottles of Chateau Lafite Rothschild.'

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

The Mortons: It's all about our money.

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

'So let's look at motivation. Is 'market share' what gets you up in the morning, or is it something else?'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

Sports Memorabilia. It's not an autograph. It's a drawing scribbled by Mickey Mantle. A Yankee doodle!

"I think he had the idea he was looking at costume jewelry."

'Got a beautiful shot of a Jag speeding into a sunset last week!'

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

'Got anything for around